WHY Women - Proactivity and Creating Safe Work Environments For Women

When I asked women in the hospitality industry about their experiences with sexism, their stories were both distressing and heartbreaking. From men refusing to take “no” for an answer, to being groped, manhandled, and subjected to sexual comments and suggestions—these accounts reveal a pervasive issue that demands our attention and action.

It is difficult to know what to do when you are made so vulnerable and unsafe at work.  I’ve heard women say they “just freeze”, afraid of confrontation or accidentally escalating the situation to violence.  Other women, who felt unable to rely on their coworkers for support or defence, or have been driven to utter frustration by repeated sexism, find themselves drawn into petty arguments or physical altercations in an attempt to protect themselves.

It’s especially difficult to navigate sexism from customers in an industry that stresses mottos like “the customer is always right” and managers encourage workers to always prioritise customer satisfaction.  In fact, a 2018 study by the EHRC found that some employers viewed sexual harassment and assault as ‘normal’ aspects of the job.  (https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/media-centre/news/action-plan-announced-tackle-sexual-harassment-culture-hospitality)

Misogyny from coworkers is equally troublesome, without guidance it can be overwhelming and frightening to assert boundaries; the risk of “upsetting” social dynamics at work can deter women from challenging or reporting sexist behaviour.

The importance of being proactive 

So far, WHY Women has identified the issues women are facing, but we believe there’s a limit to what raising awareness can do and recognise the importance of proactivity in enacting real change.  Now that we are aware of the misogyny in hospitality today, we can begin to learn how best to protect ourselves, and our coworkers, from workplace sexism.

It's deeply frustrating for any marginalised group to bear the burden of mitigating daily aggressions instead of having systemic issues addressed at their root. Yet, by taking proactive steps, we can create immediate positive changes in our work environments.  Systemic change is necessary, but, unfortunately, it is a long-term goal.  In the short-term, we can foster change on a smaller scale to create safe and welcoming workplaces for women.

Unite’s famous 2018 ‘Not on the Menu’ survey found 89% of responders had faced sexual harassment on one or more occasion while working in hospitality.  This survey, in part, prompted the EHRC’s ‘hospitality checklist’, a resource designed to stop sexual harassment in the industry.  While this is a step in the right direction, the persistence of sexist attacks proves the need for further change.  The checklist is not legally imposed; it relies on businesses self-governing - and continuing to do so, even as the threat of the #MeToo movement wanes - and, as a result, is less effective than governmental policy.

Current Advice 

An online search for advice on dealing with sexism in the workplace reveals answers that often feel vague and impersonal. We need more nuanced, empathetic guidance tailored to the unique challenges women face in hospitality.

Often, nuance is completely disregarded, what if you work for an independent venue without a human resources department?  How can you report your manager’s inappropriate behaviour to that manager themself?  Many women can feel exposed in such environments, a third-party human resources service may circumvent the anxieties preventing women from reporting sexism or harassment.

In chain companies, human resources can often rely heavily on passive forms of training; rolling out tired presentations that give vague examples of explicit sexism and list ‘appropriate behaviours’.  Firstly, this style of training ignores the complexities of ‘benevolent sexism’ in which misogyny may be more ‘subtle’.  Secondly, the offender is only required to listen - or maybe fill out a generic quiz - rather than reflect on the specifics of their actions in their own unique situation.   A more interactive approach, in which the offender examines their behaviour within the context of sexism is more beneficial to understanding the impact of their words and actions.  A better understanding of how sexism manifests in real life situations will likely lead to fewer incidents in the future. 

Our first, and perhaps most crucial, piece of advice for women: validate your emotional reaction

At WHY Women, we wholeheartedly encourage you to trust your emotional reactions. If something makes you uncomfortable, it's vital to acknowledge and validate those feelings

In UK culture, it is so common that ‘banter’ is used as an off-hand excuse for inappropriate comments and behaviour.  The offended person is expected to ‘laugh it off’ at the expense of their comfort and perceived safety at work.  This notion of ‘it’s just banter’, in combination with the popular misconception that women are ‘overly sensitive’, too often creates an environment in which women are deterred from addressing sexism in the workplace.

If you find yourself ‘laughing off’ a comment or action that made you feel uncomfortable, remind yourself that your feelings are valid and you are entitled to them.  Once you believe this, you will boost your confidence and ability to instate and hold boundaries at work.

Secondly, address sexist comments directly.

Never let sexist comments go unchallenged. If it’s safe, clearly state that the comment was inappropriate. If direct confrontation feels daunting, start by asking questions like, “What did you mean by that?” or “How was that intended to make me feel?”. 

Questions such as these force the commenter to examine their behaviour and reflect on how their words are impacting others. 

This is the point at which the advice Google provides for dealing with misogyny stops.  But, in my experience the conversation doesn’t always end there.  Often, the offender will begin to defend themselves or even feel attacked by your challenge and become aggressive.  It is always the first priority that you are safe, if you feel the situation is escalating, end the conversation and remove yourself. 

You are not expected to constantly explain yourself or the realities of sexism and you should not have to.  You’re entitled to your personal boundaries and can end the conversation at any time.

It can be incredibly difficult to ignore the social pressures to not be a “killjoy” or “too PC”, but directly addressing inappropriate behaviour in the moment is an important step in reclaiming your strength and fighting against a toxic misogynistic culture.

Lastly, champion your own success and don’t be deterred from career progression

Being a female manager in hospitality can be exhausting.  I have encountered countless examples of women being ignored in favour of a lower-ranking male colleague, simply because they assumed a woman would not be in charge.  I have been told myself, and seen other women be told, women are unable to deal with complaints or diffuse heated customer interactions because they are ‘too sensitive’.  Female managers are consistently forced to defend their positions and their ability to carry out their jobs. 

Women do not simply have to defend their positions, they must also fight especially hard to win them in the first place.  Despite making up over 50% of the hospitality workforce, only 30% of leaders in the sector are women. (https://www.forbes.com/sites/rhettpower/2023/09/25/leading-with-love---and-bringing-women-into-hospitality-leadership/)

With the instances of harassment and assault, is it surprising that women are discouraged from the industry before they can access management positions?  Why wouldn’t women leave their management positions to pursue different industries when they are constantly undervalued and unfairly criticised?

Dedicated spaces and events that provide safe environments for women to advance their careers are excellent short-term solutions to these issues. 

Inspiring Women in Hospitality, (https://www.inspiringwomeninhospitality.com/events) is a wonderful organisation that holds regular, international events for women to network.  Building connections across the industry and developing communities that encourage female success is a proactive step that emboldens women to chase career advancement.

The organisation also provides access to training opportunities that will accelerate career progression.  In addition, IWiH boasts both a blog and a podcast featuring advice and stories for women in hospitality.

Leveraging initiatives like these can significantly boost women's representation in leadership roles. The more women we see in management, the more we normalise female leadership and challenge harmful stereotypes and misconceptions. So, let’s flood the bars with female managers and show them what we can do!

Small Action Leads to Big Change

While focusing on small-scale actions is crucial, we must also advocate for wide-scale systemic change to create lasting impact.  For that, maybe we can learn from our friends down under.

Not So Hospitable, Adelaide, Australia, is an important example of how campaigns can affect change. (https://www.notsohospitable.com.au/)   The report was built from 359 testimonies of sexual harassment in hospitality, 90% of which were made by female workers, and 50% of which had no action taken by the manager.  This report identifies the current self-regulation system to be insufficient and highlights the necessity for larger-scale change.

Sexual harassment training, more specifically bystander training, creates a workforce that feels able to depend on their colleagues for defence and support.  It informs workers and gives them the confidence to defend others and significantly contributes to a safer environment for all. (https://citymag.indaily.com.au/habits/news/mandatory-sexual-harassment-training-announced-for-hospitality-industry/) 

This is a significant step towards positive change and hopefully a good model for proactive effort that we can adopt in the UK, too.

Looking to the future

Currently, it is difficult to find and access training courses for sexual harassment and anti-sexism in hospitality.  These resources are crucial in educating workers and fostering safer workplace environments and WHY is dedicated to producing and dispensing these in future.

In the meantime, remember the importance of your own feelings and that boundaries are a crucial necessity. 

Actively fight for your career and remember you deserve your place in this industry.

This article was written by Ariane Roux a dedicated advocate for women's rights, diversity, equality & inclusion - and a passionate member of the WHY Hospitality team.